By Jina Boo
Chinese weddings customs can be part of a modern wedding. Here are some tips for having a traditional Chinese Wedding:
Fetching the bride
If the bride's family used a matchmaker, the matchmaker goes with the groom toget the bride.
If their is no matchmaker, the Best man carries a red tray that has: a red packet (with money) with the bride’s price, a piece of raw pork frontleg (This is the mother's reward for bringing up the bride), an even number of oranges, dried persimmons, longan, lotus seeds, and magnolia petals (pak hup).
- The red tray will be returned with the oranges replaced in even numbers signifying that the newly joined families share their good fortune.
- An even numbered portion of the bride’s price will be returned in the red packet. Even numbered cans of pork trotters or a red packet may be used instead of the raw pork leg.
Bride's younger brother to open the bridal car door
- The groom does not open the car door when he comes to get the bride.
- The bride’s younger brother gives the groom two oranges before opening the door.
- The two oranges will be left in the bridal car for good fortune.
- The groom gives the bride's younger brother a red packet after he opens the car door.
- A younger male relative or friend can play the role if she doesn't have a younger brother.
Kiss the bride!
- The groom and the brothers’ troop get sweet desserts with pink rice ball and snacks at the bride’s home.
- The groom enters the bride's room and lifts her veil to kiss her.
- A Taoist couple prays to the bride's ancestors and family gods before leaving the bride's home.
Chinese Wedding Ceremony
In a traditional Chinese wedding ceremony, the bride and groom first pray to heaven and earth, then to the groom parents or family elders and lastly bow to each other. The three prayers sealed the marriage. The couple was escorted into the bridal chamber, the equivalent of the bridal room, to consummate their marriage.
- Modern chinese weddings skip the ritual of the three prayers.
- The bride and groom enter the bridal room directly after entering the groom's home.
- Groom’s family members will hide in the house to avoid clashing of fortune with the new couple.
- After the family members return to the family hall, the couple joins them.
- The Taoist bride and groom pray to the groom's ancestors and family gods at this time.
The wedding banquet may be on the same day or another day since it is just an announcement and celebration of the marriage.
Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
- Without the traditional three prayers, the tea ceremony becomes the most significant event in the modern chinese wedding ceremony. The bride and groom are formally introduced to each other's family through the tea ceremony.
- The tea ceremony is usually done on the wedding day when most of the family members are present.
- If some members are not available, additional ceremonies can be conducted at the wedding dinner or at other convenient times and locations.
- Sweet tea boiled with dried longan, lotus seeds and red dates are used for the Tea ceremony.
- The tea ceremony gifts such as red packets or jewellery are presented on the serving plate after drinking the tea.
Chinese Bride's home visit
Traditionally the bride’s home visit is three days after the Chinese wedding ceremony. In a modern Chinese wedding, the events are usually combined into a single day.
After the tea ceremony at the groom's family home, the bride changes out of her western style wedding gown to symbolize the passage of three days!
Bride's younger brother to escort the bride home
The bridal car brings the bride's younger brother to the groom's home. The groom opens the car door for the younger brother. The younger brother comes with a wedding basket filled with toiletries, perfumed oils and make-up for his sister.
Gifts for the bride's home visit
- The home visit completes the modern Chinese wedding ceremony. When the bride and groom visit the bride's parents house for the first time as a married couple; they bring gifts for her parents and give red packets to all the elder members and children in the family.
- In the past, gifts included sugar cane and a live rooster and hen. The rooster and hen would be returned under the bridal bed back at the couple's home. The firstborn is expected to be a boy if the rooster comes out first.
- Modern Chinese weddings use red packets instead of these gifts. If tangerines or mandarin oranges are out of season, oranges can be given.
- A roast pig is the required gift if one of the bride's parents is Cantonese. For the non-Cantonese, sometimes roast pork can be given instead of a whole roast pig.
- For Teochew, the gift should include two big red packets of their favorite traditional peanut and sesame candies. The gift or hokkiens includes c popped rice blocks or popped rice and sesame rolls, peanut chewy candies, or bean paste cookies.
- A portion of all gifts are returned to signify sharing of fortune between the two families.
- During the bride's home visit, a sweet soup with lotus seeds, dried longan, dates and pink rice balls will be served to wish the couple a sweet harmonious marriage.
- The couple and the parents give red packets to all the wedding vendors.
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The color red is considered good luck, which banishes evil spirits. The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China usually is one-piece dress named "Qi Pao", embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs.
(description and dress are from chinabridal.com -- a source for ordering Chinese wedding dresses, invitations, etc.)
In southern China, brides usually wear two-piece dress named "Qun Gua, Kwa" or "Cheongsam," with golden phoenix and dragon.
In older times, a red veil covered the bride's face during the ceremony. Newlyweds saw other's face for the first time on their wedding night.
The Dragon & Phoenix design symbolizes the balance of male and female power.
The Chinese groom traditionaly wears a black silk coat over an embroidered dragon robe of dark blue. The headgear is a black hat with red tassels.
